Being Gay is Hard for me. (4)

“we have been trained to ignore them”, The new Normal

I heard that from The new normal TV series. I agree with that, but not completely.
“Ignoring it” It’s the way I live in this world. Every move of my life, I’m trying to avoid any problem. I don’t want to give any chance to people to put me on something that isn’t my fault.
“I don’t care” my regular word. But when I say that it means I really do care.
Being gay is hard, but that is who I am.

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Being Gay is Hard for me. (3)

I always told my mom, I didn’t care what people think about me. But the truth is I really do care.

I’m scared.

I have no one to talk to (can’t talk to mom, because she gonna be worry).

Every day, I plan my life, I want to be like that, want to be this, have to do that, have to say that.

It sounds crazy.

Maybe I’m just a control freak.

Ha ha

Being Gay is Hard for me. (2)

Am I in the closet? No.
Am I coming out? No.
But I’m never pretending to be straight and I don’t want to.
Back in the school, I’m not kind of sports guy. Because I’m too skinny for any sport. But I do like volleyball (and again I’m too short for that too). Btw I’m a runner and I doing good with that, beats a big guy with speed. Ha ha
I mostly spent my time in the library, I love reading, alone in my small world.